Sculpting or Caring

Church leaders are constantly tempted to approach ministry with a sculpture’s eye.  Always looking for that imperfect piece to knock off or the area to modify.  Constantly seeking their idea of perfection.  Vision becomes blurred with preference and the input of others can be viewed as hostile and invasive.  This is a dangerous place to be and not at all a Biblical approach.  We have to remember that God gives vision and our ministry is only productive when we follow His will for that ministry.  Any given ministry is not mine, yours, or someone else’s.  It is God’s avenue of reaching the lost and discipling His followers through us, as vessels.  We do not own a church or ministry department.  Honestly, we don’t have enough self-created vision to keep any ministry successful long-term.

Personally, I got caught up in approaching ministry through a sculpture’s eye during a particularly frustrating season of my life.  Fortunately, for that ministry and I, God graciously spoke to me through some interest I had in bonsai trees.  I realized that though bonsai trees are works of art and beautiful to its artist and caregiver, they are of no real use.  They don’t provide shade, much fruit, wood for burning, or a place of rest.  But, take that same bonsai tree, plant it in fertile ground, and it will naturally grow the way God intended.  It will become a great resource to its environment.  Churches, outreaches, centers, and ministry departments operate in somewhat the same nature.  They will grow the way God intended if we spend more time caring for them than trying to sculpt them.  God will continue to give vision and creativity, allowing it to flourish and impact its environment.  I don’t have to worry about making it perfect if I am trying to keep it healthy.  God will provide the necessary workers, funds, and resources if I am willing to stick with His vision and purpose.

Through my lesson I have learned to often ask myself, “Am I sculpting or caring?”

Bravado or Confidence?

I heard a grown man admit a fault the other day that many would never dare to confess. When challenged about his resistance to pain he unashamedly said, "You know what, that's all I got."  Most men would of quickly offered up some excuse, blaming their lack of tolerance on some outside influence.  This man was confident in who he was and didn't need to fake through some pain to prove himself.  He understood the difference between confidence and bravado. 
Confidence is the ability to believe in your own talents, abilities, and resources. Bravado is foolishly believing you have more than what is really within you.  I see this all the time in ministry. In fact, I see it all too often.  Inexperienced ministry leaders carelessly throw about ideas and plans without a care to what is realistically attainable. They do so because of their bravado, or assumption that they have what it takes to get the job done. They also place an unfounded faith in God. By that I mean, they haven't prayed, fasted, or sought counsel before they embarked on their personal crusade. Their bravado often causes them to believe God is in it when He really is not. 
A confident minister relies on his education, training, relationship with God, and past experiences. It is the accumulation of a these factors that gives him confidence in himself and God. 
Bravado often leads ministers down a destructive path. It can cause you to ignore wise counsel, good information, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It drives you to fake your way through failure. 
Forget Bravado, get some good confidence!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Avoid networking blunders

Whether I am teaching or attending, I go to a lot of meetings, conferences, and seminars.  While there, I can’t help but notice how people go about networking, hobnobbing, shoulder-rubbing, or simply connecting with others.  Some do it with such ease it can spin your head.  Others hate it and avoid the whole scene entirely.  Then there are those that think they have fantastic networking talents only to leave a trail of burnt bridges.  I’m no networking guru, but I have learned a few things via reading and observation.  There are three rules that I consistently remind myself, and those working along side me, to adhere to without question. 

1.  Do not assume you know your targeted partner.
This can be the initial killer to a potential relationship.  Think back in your own life and try to recall how many times a foot was squarely placed in your mouth because you inadvertently offended someone.  Personally, I have done it numerous times only to think the words, “Man, I wish I had known before I said something!”  In our world of instant information people form opinions on a plethora of topics and any one topic can be a relationship land-mine.  Unless you have done your homework, stick to topics that pertain to the relationship you are seeking.  Do not fool yourself into thinking you have found a new friend.  Friendship may come, but not at the first meeting. 

2.  Always remember who is on the other side of the conversation.
We have all seen that “guy” get shot down with a sharp correction because he got too comfortable too quickly.  If you always remain “in your place” you never have to be put in your place.  That can seem counterproductive in regards to networking, but you should always remember - you need this new relationship, they may not.  They are the source you are the needy.  Also, do not try to offer advise to whom are seeking advise.  It can be offensive to someone that is generously allowing you their valuable time. 

 3. Stay within your expertise.
Want to be labeled an idiot?  Then simply talk about a subject of which you have no knowledge, while in the midst of experts.  I continually see people unknowingly embarrass themselves as they drone on and on with a false confidence.   Do not be afraid to admit your ignorance about a subject.  Anyone who thinks they know everything has fallen prey to their own foolish thoughts.  People find it refreshing to assist an eager yet respectful up and comer.  If they do not respect your honesty then you may not want to network with that individual anyway. 

Of course, there are many more nuances to discuss about successfully networking with others, these are just three rules that have served me well.  Follow them with intent and keep yourself from damaging a relationship before it develops.  Go network and build on your calling as you help others build on theirs. 

God Bless,
Paul LaRose

Grace is Gracious even when unrecognized

Like most people, I like to consider myself a gracious person.  Recently my "graciousness" came under some significant pressure.  Nobody drove me to lose my temper.  Nor did anyone go behind my back or try to take advantage of me.  I simply realized that some of the grace I was extending was going unrecognized.  At first, I got a little annoyed and asked myself, "Don't they realize what I am doing for them?"  I started to allow a bad attitude to arise within my thoughts and body language.  I could of easily digressed from there, but thankfully the Holy Spirit gave me one of those very timely spiritual "checks."  I prayed that I would have the strength to persevere and not let my personal feelings ruin something wonderful. 
You see, the whole matter revolves around my desire to disciple up and coming leaders.  I often give people projects and other opportunities.  This process affords them room to grow and develop their ministry skills.  However, this particular occasion was a little more personal than most.  I was giving away an opportunity that honestly, I wanted to accomplish.  I suppose that was why I started to get irritated.  I asked God to help me think this one through.  There was no doubt in my mind that I was doing the right thing by giving the opportunity away, but my fallen nature was being selfish.  I did not like that "I" was not being recognized for what "I" was giving away.  As I was thinking and praying I quickly realized that grace is gracious even when unrecognized.  True grace does not care if it is recognized and applauded.  It does not withhold itself until it receives something in return.  It is offered because grace is simply - gracious.  There can be no better example than the  grace Christ gave as He said, "Forgive them for they don't know what  they are doing."  He was extending an Amazing amount of Grace and forgiveness even though all of humanity was ignorant of what was really occurring.  So I pray and I pray often, "Lord help me to be gracious."  I'll keep discipling and giving away opportunity to young leaders because that is what He called me to do.  As I continue, I pray I do it with grace.
Take a moment to ask yourself if you need the same spiritual check the Holy Spirit graciously gave to me.  God Bless and be sure to Disciple the up and coming. 
- Paul LaRose

Key Ingredient to Authentic Discipleship - Invitations

Recently one of the young men I’ve been discipling asked me a question that got me thinking. He asked, “Why are you investing in us? I’ve calculated your investment in time and resources and realize you’re not getting back near what you’re investing.” At first I didn’t understand his question. I asked for clarity and soon discovered that he couldn’t understand why I was actively looking for time to spend with these future ministers. What really confused him was the amount of invitations I offered to talk and work together. I’ve discovered that the average pastor waits for a young minister or church leader to come to him with a need at which time he then becomes active in their life. This particular young minister was accustomed to mentors coming to him only when they needed something by his previous pastor. The fact that I was approaching him with a simple opportunity to spend time together or to address his needs was so foreign that he didn’t know how to react. He thought that I had some underlying reason for being active in his life, as though I was buttering him up for a future request. I’ve discovered that one of the most important things I do as a pastor/disciple maker is to invite others to spend time with me. Not for anything important, just time to talk and interact. It’s during these times that relationships are strengthened and trust is built. The more invitations I extend the more these young ministers trust me. The more time we spend together the more I can invest in them. As I invest in them I earn their loyalty and friendship. They no longer look at me as the pastor behind the pulpit and in the office. They begin looking at me as the pastor in their life. It is at this point that I become more than their pastor, I have become their spiritual leader and mentor.

Our titles as pastor can change in a single season, but our titles as spiritual leaders and friends can last a lifetime. I encourage you to Disciple by invitation. After all, Christ invited the Disciples to follow Him. That invitation was the first of many more to come. He invited His Disciples to share life with Him. Let us also invite others to share life in ministry together.

God Bless

Paul LaRose

Sheltering or Discipling

The term “sheltering” as used when describing the parenting skills of others is not easily defined, but the general public defines it more or less like this...
Withdrawing your child from society in an effort to keep them naive to the dangers and realities of the world in which they live.
The general feeling is that parents who shelter their children cross the line between protecting them and handicapping their ability to function in society. The fact is, that line does exist and if parents are not careful they can cross that line. Sheltering your child from danger is by no means a bad thing, neither is sheltering them from harmful information. So how is this line between protecting and handicapping defined?
People who overly "shelter" their kids fear they will fail because of knowledge. Wise parents protect and give them knowledge so they do not fail. How does this translate in everyday life? Opportunities to strengthen your child’s decision making skills, core values, morals, and ability to withstand peer pressure are presented each day they venture out into society. Think of it as building up their immune system. No matter how hard we try to protect them, our children will come across bad information, be exposed to concepts too soon, hear things they should not, and be asked to do things that are harmful to their future. It is inevitable. However, all is not lost. These circumstances can lead into a time of discipling them about the wrongs and rights of life. When our children catch a cold we don’t ignore it, nor do we withhold information that could help them through the sickness. Why then do we ignore harmful information that enters our children’s minds? We should contain it, explain it, and educate through discipleship to protect them from any future incidents.
The line between protecting and overly “sheltering” is defined by our ability or intentionality to disciple. If we do not educate our children we only postpone possible dangers. If we take the opportunities to disciple them we eliminate those same dangers. Is this to suggest that our children will not go through struggles? Absolutely not, but it does equip them with the right tools to navigate successfully through society. Tools are always more valuable than naivety or ignorance. The romantic idea of raising children to be naive and innocent is more likely a fantasy. If our children will play any part in society they will be exposed to dangers and their innocent minds will be assaulted. It is our job as parents to equip them with tools as we disciple them as problems and opportunities arise. We might not be able to protect them from everything, but we can equip them for anything.
God Bless,
Pastor Paul LaRose