Respect or Agree?

Awhile ago it seemed I lost the respect of one of my church couples. The situation caused them to leave the church and they have yet to return. During their departure they made sure to tell everyone who would listen they did not approve of my ministry style or my decisions. The whole scene caught me completely off guard. Up until this point they were faithfully attending the services and special events. They seemed to enjoy the church and my leadership. Everything was great until I made a decision of which they did not agree. After much thought and self inflicted anguish, I realized they never really respected or liked me, they simply liked the decisions I had been making. Once I veered from their approval, they made it very clear our relationship was superficial at best. So, was their disappointment aimed at me or my decision? After a few days of thought I came to the knowledge that yes, they were disappointed in me, but only because I was not what they wanted in a leader. They were looking for someone that would behave as they would and lead as they would. I, was clearly not that person.
It was a hard lesson, but I'm glad I learned it early on in ministry. Everyone will love you as long as you make the decisions they would. Your faithful and true supporters give you respect because they trust you to make the decisions that are healthy and wise. You can tell you have earned their respect when they support you after you have made a decision they do not agree with. That respect only comes with time and a proven track record. Until your track record deserves respect lead with open communication. This will help others see your approach to important decisions.
When building your leadership team, remember it is better to work with people that respect you rather than just agree with you.